Having an almost 13 year-old daughter is like being on the most exhilarating, yet terrifying, ride of your life.
A long-lasting roller coaster that you can’t get off of. And one on which you have to just smile, and be the brave one, while you keep your true feelings, the ones you want to yell and shout out, inside.
And to think, I used to like roller coasters.
I love my kid. More than that, I enjoy being with my kid.
Well, most of the time. I never thought we would reach this spot, and I know it’s just a temporary growing pain, but…..
I can do nothing right. In her eyes.
My reaction to her complaining about working on a group project?
Wrong.
My response to her asking me to help her find her straightening iron?
Wrong.
My take on the singing last night on the American Idol finale?
Wrong. Wrong. And wrong.
The only thing we’ve agreed on this week? How beautiful J-Lo’s skin is.
I’m not a very religious person but the phrase that comes to mind when we have these, um, disagreements? Lord, give me the strength.
The strength to not flip out on her. But also the strength to not avoid confrontation just because it’s easier.
The strength to stand firm in my parenting. And to remember that we are not “friends”. I am her mother. We can be friends later in life. Much later.
And the strength to find the balance between condoning her behavior while blaming it on raging hormones and on her “just” being a teen to guiding her through these tough years and helping her become the respectful and kind person I know she really is.
Finding this strength isn’t easy. But I’ll find it. It’s what we mothers do for our daughters.
And deep down, I know that this too shall pass.
Right, Mom?
How could she be anything but sweet?
Top image via mgrayflickr
8 comments
Leslie says:
May 24, 2012
Ha! I wrote about teenagers today too! My daughter is 21 now. We did not get along at all when she was 13. But now she likes me again. So don’t worry.
Jen @ Lifes Dewlaps says:
May 25, 2012
Good to know, Leslie!! Thanks.
Hotly Spiced says:
May 26, 2012
And I wrote about my teenager daughter today too! What is going on out there with teenage girls! I feel your pain. And as she is just 13 you have a long, long, LONG way to go. My daughter will be 18 in September and she’ll finish high school a month later. I can see light at the end of the tunnel but over the years there have been so many times (countless) when I’ve had to say, ‘Lord, give me strength’. Enjoy the roller coaster! xx
Jen @ Lifes Dewlaps says:
May 28, 2012
It was the day of the teenaged daughters! Thank you for reminding me that there will be an end! Hope yours is feeling better.
That Uncomfortable Itch says:
May 27, 2012
It is a daily test of who we are and what sort of stuff we are made of. The teen girl child is a creature unlike any other.
I’m about a year ahead of you and I can only say that it gets harder. Sorry. But if memory serves (from when I was a teen girl) my mom stopped totally sucking with every breath she took when I was about 16 1/2, so it will get better.
Jen @ Lifes Dewlaps says:
May 28, 2012
Love reading about your trials and tribulations with your teen girl. Helps to know I’m not alone!
So I only have 3+ years left??
Nicki says:
May 28, 2012
I found texting helpful during that stage, somehow more smilies get across and much less tension. Guess that is tough when you are watching American Idol together but at least you are watching American Idol together. Jake is the only one I have left doing that with me :} xxoo
Jen @ Lifes Dewlaps says:
May 28, 2012
I like the texting idea. But she lost her phone!
And now what do watch since American Idol is over?
XO