Me and JulesI went the wrong way when I dropped my baby off at her new school this morning.

I should have stayed in the right lane but at the last minute, I second guessed myself and veered in to the left lane. That was for student parking. Not student drop-off.

Yes, my baby is going to school where other kids drive because she’s starting high school.

And because I went the wrong way, I didn’t get to give her my little speech. One similar to the speech I gave to her brother two years ago when he started high school.

The speech where I tell her how proud I am of her and how great she’s going to do. How she’s going to make lots of new friends and have all of these wonderful experiences. And how much I love her and how her hair looks so great and her new jeans are cute.

No, instead, I pulled up alongside some parked cars and told her she had to get out there. Because, oops, sorry, I messed up.

And my heart broke because she turned to me and said, “Here? Right here?”

Yep, sorry kid. Right here. In the wrong spot.

I was so pissed at myself for screwing up that I didn’t even have a chance to cry.

Cry because, you know, because my baby is all grown up. Taller than me, in to boys and yeah, starting high school.

And I can’t believe that. Seems like just yesterday I was walking her in to her first day of kindergarten.

Oh well. I’ll get drop-off right tomorrow. I can give her my speech then. And if the tears still want to come, I’ll let them roll down my cheeks as I drive away. But I think they’ve lost their chance. Because I really am proud of her and I know how great she’s going to do.

My baby’s not such a baby any more. She’s a witty, beautiful, smart and kind young woman. She’s going to be just fine.

And so am I.

 

me and jules

Photo credit for top image: Maggie Evans Silverstein