“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
Quote from Unknown Author read at my second wedding by my Budget Notary.
Today is my three year wedding anniversary. Two days from now is my six year first hook-up anniversary with my husband. I remember them both as if they were recent. And they are very sentimental dates to me. And I feel that they should be celebrated because they both marked new beginnings. Crazy and wild beginnings accompanied by a lot of love, friendship and sex, just not necessarily in that order.
Six years ago, I had a tremendous crush on my current husband. I’m not even sure crush is the proper word to use to describe my attraction to him. It seems too delicate. I had known him for a while, been in and out of his restaurant many times. As his version of our hook-up story goes, I was the initiator of the events that evening, November 20, 2003.
This is not how I remember it because unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I was drunk. His apartment was just down the street from our neighborhood bar but he was going to give me a ride to my house a few miles away. You’ve all probably heard this story before.
Drunk girl needs a ride home but first has to go to the bathroom. Drunk girl enters boy’s apartment to pee. Then, (I’m skipping over the next few hours so as not to embarrass my parents or brother) drunk girl is sober when she wakes up in boy’s bed the next morning. Out of nervousness, no-longer-drunk girl talks incessantly until guy puts something in her mouth to make her stop talking.
And we’ve been together ever since. The fairy tale that every mother wants for her daughter. A match made, if not in heaven, then somewhere else where someone has our same sick sense of humor.
Three years ago, we got married. The perfect ceremony, in the perfect setting in my parents’ backyard with our good friends and family. And of course, our children. My two and his one. And the past three years have been, if not blissful, well then great. Even when the children were having stomachaches and nightmares and grownups were experiencing the kind of angst that comes when you are blending two families: having different upbringings and experiences, involving two former spouses, and trying to make sure that you’re doing the best for everybody involved.
But we’ve done it. We’ve made it work with lots of patience, being supportive of each other and having kid-free Thursday nights. And after three years, I know that whatever else comes our way, we can handle it.
The biggest change over the last three years is that our marriage has become more kid-centric. We have melded in to more of a family unit, just one that is non-traditional. As he has become more of a parent to mine and I have become more of a parent to his. And the three children have become a bigger part of who we are and what our relationship is.
And if you ask our children, any of the three of them, if they are weird they will say yes and then proceed to tell you what a good thing that is. So, I guess, by our compatible weirdness, we have all come to love each other. And that makes for a very happy me.
Happy 3rd/6th Anniversary! I love you!