It is Mother’s Day tomorrow. I wasn’t going to write about it. The day seems so commercial to me. Not that I don’t enjoy the handmade gifts from my children, the little slips of paper they make at school that say “good for one free hug” or “I’ll clean my room up for a week without being asked”. Or the agreement the two of them make not to fight with each other, at least for the day.
It’s a day that, as a mother no longer married to the father of her children, feels a bit contrived. Maybe because my nuclear family is not intact. This is my ex-husband’s weekend with the kids. But as stated in our divorce agreement, the kids spend the parent holidays with the one being celebrated. So, they’ll come back to my house in the morning. We’ll go to brunch at a friend’s house and spend a nice relaxing day together. Maybe go for a swim and a bike ride. Do some homework. Make a mask of Anubis.
But I guess the day does give me reason to reflect on what I sometimes take for granted. For one, I’m lucky that I still have my mother around. And that we are very close. Sure she likes to get involved in my life and comment on some of my parenting decisions, but she does it with such great grace that I don’t mind. Honestly. We talk on the phone almost every day. We see each other with nice regularity. And I truly enjoy just being around her. I think everybody does. Sometimes, I think that my friends like her more than me!
I’m also lucky that my mom still has her mom around. And that I have been able to grow up knowing my grandmother who is now 93. And that my 9 year old daughter knows her too. I know this is rare, to have four generations of women in a family who are all contributing to the CO2 level in the atmosphere. And it makes me smile when I think about it.
I don’t know a lot about loss. And I’m lucky for that as well. But my husband lost his mother to lung cancer over 5 years ago. So tomorrow will be a different kind of day for him. Not an easy one made up of bike rides and mimosas, but a sad one. He no longer gets to bring his mom lobster to celebrate Mother’s Day. And he misses her every single day of the year, not just on Mother’s Day. I hope it gets easier for him with time. But I’m not so sure that it does.
So we’ll spend the day together, my not-so-nuclear family, thinking about our moms. My kids will be on their best behavior, I hope. I’ll be sure to cash in on my Mother’s Day gifts and have the kids do the dishes, the laundry and maybe even take out the trash. And I’ll be thinking about how lucky I am to have my mom, my kids, my husband. And how full my life is. My husband calls me the LWA (luckiest woman alive). And, for the most part, I agree.