Good old-fashioned K-Y has come out with a new product called K-Y Intense. I have to admit that the ads (also seen on YouTube), and more importantly the product claims, got my attention. Intense is touted as “not a lubricant, but a patent-pending arousal gel, designed specifically for women, that is scientifically shown to enhance female arousal, pleasure and satisfaction during climax.”

Wow, who doesn’t need a little more of that.

Then I saw the price of $29.99 and decided to forget about it. We’re in a recession. We can do things the old-fashioned way. But on Sunday, there was a $5.00 off coupon in the paper. This made the price seem more reasonable, so I cut the coupon out and stashed it out of the view of the children. I don’t want to have to explain that to them. “Mommy, what’s arousal gel?”

Yesterday, I decided to go out and buy Intense because it was date night Thursday and the kids would be over at their father’s house. Plus, my husband has been working really hard and I thought he deserved a little extra something. (He pointed out to me later that the product is specifically for a woman’s pleasure but I figure if I’m happy, he’s happy.) I went to my neighborhood CVS because I also had a $4.00 Extra Bucks coupon. But they were sold out. I went to a different CVS, two miles from the first. They also didn’t have it. So, I went next door to Walgreens. Where I live, there is a drugstore every few feet so it wasn’t too much of an inconvenience. And not only did Walgreens have it, but they also had an in-store price reduction of $7.00. So with my coupon, I got a total of $12.00 off. I was excited already just by saving all that money.

I do have to say, that even at the age of 43, I was a little uncomfortable waiting in line to pay for it. You look at the box and it just screams “I like sex and I’m going to get laid tonight”. I had the same feeling I would get when I was younger and would go to buy condoms or a home pregnancy test, especially before I was married. Or like the time I bought a cheap romance novel with a buff, shirtless, long-haired man on the cover and the Winn Dixie stock boy asked if I could come back later and tell him all about it.

At Walgreens, there were two old people in front of me and a young guy behind me with a toddler in his cart. He had let me go before him. I tried to cover up the box with the backside of the coupon but I think he may have noticed anyway. He was staring at me, and not in a good way. And of course, yesterday was the day that I forgot to put on my wedding rings. So, to him, I was just another middle-aged, unmarried hussy looking for some action. Or, I could just have an active imagination.

I made it home with most of my dignity intact and unpacked my Intense. It comes with its own cute, little, discreet, black pouch. I put the box back in the Walgreens bag and hid the whole thing at the bottom of my garbage can so the kids wouldn’t find it. I can just imagine: “Mommy, what happens when you climax?” Then, I put the pouch in the drawer of my nightstand and bided my time until the kids were gone and my husband was home. And date night officially began. I’ll stop there. Though it may not seem like it, I am fairly modest. If you want to know if it was effective, get your own. But get it while it’s on sale.