I love the mornings when my husband and I get to lie in bed and slowly wake up together.

Mornings where I’m not jolted awake by my vibrating wrist watch. Or he’s not rushing to get to his restaurant because some crazy person wants chicken for a 50 person party at 10 am.

The conversations that we have while lying there are different than any other conversations that we have. They’re more of a stream of consciousness, unfiltered, uncensored, half-awake kind of conversation.

This is our conversation from Friday morning:

Husband: What’s your schedule today?

(He asks this for a particular reason. If I’m busy, he’ll go down to the dog track with his friends and bet simulcasted horse racing. It’s his thing. Don’t judge. If I’m not busy, we’ll have lunch together.)

Me: I’m going down to see Anjela.

(She’s my Russian aesthetician. I’ve known her for over 10 years. Other than my husband and my gynecologist, she’s the person I am most intimate with. She is a very thorough waxer.)

Husband: Wow, it’s been a long time. I thought you were growing it all out for your Israel trip.

Me: Ha ha. (Not.) No, I’m getting my eyebrows done. And a semi-Brazilian. Oh, and she’ll do my mustache too.

Husband: But you don’t have a mustache. 

Me: I know I don’t have one. I don’t have one because I get it waxed. 

Husband: But you never had one. Even before you got it waxed.

Me: But I’ve been getting it waxed for years. So how would you know? (Frustration.)

(This subject has reached it’s limit and, before it can turn in to a whole “Who’s on first, what’s on second” deal, we move on to talking about the dinner party we went to the night before.)

Husband: You really did a great job smelling out the curry in those vegetables. No one else noticed.

(It was a subtle odor but I love curry.)

Me: Of course I sniffed it out. What do you think? That this nose is just for show?

My husband couldn’t respond to that because he was laughing too hard. And just like that, I started my day with a smile.

No mustache!

No mustache!

Top image via Target