Kirkland toilet paper 1

Somebody, please, put me away.

Do you ever feel like you’re the only one in your house that puts things away?

From the clean laundry to the old photographs you looked at six months ago to the screwdriver that was used to pry a penny out of the washing machine.

You know what I’m talking about. I know you do.

A few weeks ago, my husband brought home a pack of 30 rolls of toilet paper from Costco. We go through a pack this size every few months.

I don’t know if that’s a lot but there are a couple of teens in my house and a husband who may or may not have an overactive sphincter.

Having a lot of toilet paper in the house alleviates one of my leftover fears from living in Manhattan for 11 years. That I would run out of toilet paper mid-squat. And have to opt for paper towels a reasonable facsimile until I could get to the corner Duane Reade.

And even though I live in South Florida now, having extra toilet paper in the house (or paper towels or tampons) makes me feel good.

But this most recent pack of toilet paper, leaning against the wall near our downstairs bathroom, stayed in our entryway for a few weeks.

I take the blame for not putting it away. Honestly, it is one of my “jobs” to put stuff like this away. Break up the pack and distribute it to the three bathrooms we have in the house. But in the three weeks the toilet paper sat there, nobody even mentioned it. Even though we all walked by it multiple times a day.

The other day, like a bolt of lightning had hit me, I realized it was still there. It had become part of our decor, like that stack of books I haven’t read in over a year. Which got me to thinking, maybe there were other ways a big pack of toilet paper could be used. At least while we’re waiting for our supply to run out.

I think that I may be on to something.

A Coffee Table

Kirkland toilet paper foot rest

A Body Pillow

Kirkland toilet paper in bed

HOV Lane Companion (Complete with Brooklyn Nets hat.)

Kirkland toilet paper in car

Outdoor Sculpture

Kirkland toilet paper art installation

Installation Art

Kirkland toilet paper as sculpture

And, of course, if none of these ideas works for you, you can always store your toilet paper the conventional way.

The Linen Closet

Kirkland toilet paper in closet

On The Roll

Kirkland toilet paper in bathroom


Now if I could just figure out what to do with that giant gallon size jar of Hellman’s Light mayonnaise. Other than buy a four pound can of tuna.

giant tuna can


Credit for all photos except tuna: Julia D. Cullen