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Monthly archive March, 2012
The Love Of A 100 Year-Old Ex-Grandmother-In-Law

The Love Of A 100 Year-Old Ex-Grandmother-In-Law

I’m going to a birthday party tomorrow night.A 100 year-old birthday party. For a person. And not just any person. My former grandmother-in-law. My ex-husband’s grandmother. The great-grandmother of my children. Nana, as my kids call her, is a pretty remarkable woman. (What an understatement.) She’s of Sicilian descent and grew up in New York....
Motherly Love (Or You Make Me Crazy)

Motherly Love (Or You Make Me Crazy)

I woke up early this morning thinking about what I was doing at this time 15 years ago. I was lying in a hospital bed in downtown Manhattan, with my first-born sleeping peacefully in my arms after having been surgically extracted from my uterus a few hours earlier. He looked like a hairy little monkey....
On Turning 15: Driving, Shaving And Growing Up

On Turning 15: Driving, Shaving And Growing Up

Tomorrow, my house is going to be overrun with a dozen or so teenage boys. They’ll play some basketball, go to the field to throw the football around and then come inside and take over the den. If they can all fit in there. You see, my baby is turning 15. Gulp. How the heck did that...
Another Conversation With My Kid: Diaphragm Edition

Another Conversation With My Kid: Diaphragm Edition

Most every night, my daughter and I read in her room before bedtime. We’ve been doing it since both of my kids were so young that I had to read to them. My son is now almost 15 and most nights would prefer to be in the privacy of his own room with the door...
Chickpeas Out The Wazoo

Chickpeas Out The Wazoo

My husband has a new mistress. Her name is Restaurant Depot. She is an open-to-the-trade-only wholesaler of all things restaurant-related. In very large quantities. (That bitch.) A five pound bag of shredded Parmesan cheese. A gallon of Crystal hot sauce. A case of chopped sea clams. Or ocean clams. Chef’s choice. And a number 10...
I Am Scarred

I Am Scarred

I look at my body when I am in the shower and catalog my scars. I have a teeny, tiny scar on my right thumb. Where it got stuck in a screen door when I was a toddler and I tried to follow my older brother outside. I wanted to do everything he did. The...